Cool Captions for Girls Profile

Funny Instagram Captions

• The best workout is a cross between a crunch and a lunge. A lunch.

• Nama’stay on the couch.

• Vodka may not be the answer but it’s worth a shot

• Friday, my second favorite F-word.

• There’s no “we” in fries.

• I need six months of vacation, twice a year.

• Your secret is safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

• If I won the award for laziness, I’d send someone to go pick it up for me.

• Have you ever eaten a clock? It’s so time-consuming.

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• Nothing really mattress except sleep.

• Mirror: You look good today. Camera: Nope!

• What’s a girl gotta do to get some fries around here?

• Hakuna ma-vodka.

• No laws when you’re drinking claws.

• Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

• How do people write autobiographies? I barely remember what I had for lunch.

• After Tuesday, even the calendar goes WTF.
• An apple a day keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough.

• Life happens. Coffee helps.

• Where do all the hair ties go?

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• Never let a man treat you anything less than Beyonce.

• You never know what you have until you clean your room.

• Life update: Currently holding it all together with a single bobbypin.

• When you’re feeling downie, eat a brownie.

• I’m here for a good time, not a long time.

• I am not weird. I’m limited edition.

• I may be a handful, but that’s why you’ve got two hands.

• I’m not lazy, just on energy-saving mode.

• There is no angry way to say, “Bubbles.”

• When there’s no coffee, I feel despresso.

• All we have is now.

• To be happy is all that really matters.

• Go wild for a while.

• Do what feels good.

• Living my best life.

• Life isn’t perfect, but my hair is.

• Height 5’2′ but my attitude 6’1

• Be a stiletto in a room of flats.

• Too lit to quit.

Funny Instagram captions

• Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.

• Happier than a seagull with a French fry.

• How to have a beach body.

• 1 Have a body.

• 2. Go to the beach.

• Humble, with a hint of Kanye.

• I can resist everything except temptation.

• Oscar Wilde

• I do marathons (on Netflix).

• I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship

• If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes 😉

• I have nothing to declare except my genius.

• Oscar Wilde

• I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

• I’m just a good girl with bad habits 😉

• I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort.

• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

• I put the Pro in procrastinate.

• If it requires a bikini, my answer is yes. 

• I don’t care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

• I don’t need a man, I need tequila and a tan.

• I need 6 months vacation…Twice a year.

• I solemnly swear…that I am up to no good.

• Harry Potter by JK Rowling

• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

• I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.

• Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.

• Candace Bushnell

• Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s the Instagram filter.

• My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.

• Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.

• Michael Clifford

• Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

• Patience. What you have when there are too many witnesses.

• People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

• Isaac Asimov

• Reality called, so I hung up.

• Resting beach face.

• Sleep like no one’s watching.